Tuesday, June 14, 2022

The Importance of A Plumb Tree

(Another post in a retrospective series - writings found languishing in the drafts folder)  

14 July 2013

A plumb tree and berries and rhubarb. Oh, and asparagus. These were the wishes an 8 year old girl had for the new home her family would find. Their "forever home" as her mother described.

First of all, who has at the top of their wish list "Plumb Tree"? This struck me as very unusual. Even more unusual because I have one, though I never specifically wished for it. 

When I bought my house, the heirs who sold it didn't remember what kind of tree it was. That is an apple tree they said, and this one has fruit too. We can't remember what. The neighbors didn't know either. Crab apples? Well...a neighbor said, they are small like that, but no. Clearly no one had Eaten from the tree in recent memory.

It turned out to bear little yellow plums. Small and sweet. You need to eat them the day (or next) you pick them or it's too late. One year I thought it was dying. I kept trimming off the dead wood and it kept bouncing back. Last year the plums were the most delicious yet - the whole tree yeilded at most a few quarts but the plums were pale yellow with a red blush and soft and sweet. Fabio tells me it's the same variety prevalent in his region of Italy. I have never seen them before. (Though I don't have extensive plum experience.)

So this family came to see the house yesterday, which I have for sale, and then emailed this morning to come back again, but I was away from email digging up ferns and blackberries for garage salers who couldn't get enough, as plants kept selling out at my sale.

The young father stopped by. "I figured you were not checking email since you're having the sale," he explained. They wanted to see the house again and bring their daughters. Somehow I had neglected the idea of giving the family my phone number.

They brought their in-laws, as before, and another young advisor of sorts. I let them have their run of the house since the night before I had talked (and talked) them through it. And, after the girls had seen the house, I asked if they wanted to pick berries. We went out to the blackberry patch.

My dad had come over this afternoon and sat in a chair in the patch. I had tied the berry canes up to the dog fence this year and cut back what grew through the fence in the spring. I thought I would keep it small. Maybe I would be back in Belize and not around for berries anyway. Somehow instead of small, this grew a most beautiful and just-short-of-unweildy hedge on one side of the fence for sit-down picking and the plants re-poked through only the top half of the fence on the other side, convenient for stand-up picking. I am not clever enough to have devised this with intention, but I was clever enough to see that my dad could sit in a chair on one side of the fence to pick, and I could stand on the other side. He picked all he could eat and then some for the bowl. I picked on the stand-up side and then also the Untended sprawl of bushes further back which stretched clear from the house to the middle of the now vacant dog pen (since the hounds are on sabbatical from Rabbit in Belize). In all, we picked about a quart in the afternoon, after I had already picked a pint that morning.

So the berries were mostly cleaned out when the young children arrived and they had to peek under leaves and go in narrow spaces by the house to find the ripe ones remaining. All the more adventurous for them. 

Then we stood by the long narrow bed, seen from the dining room, home to three blueberry and two cranberry bushes, and we talked while the children drew on the back stair with sidewalk chalk. We migrated to the 10-foot round herb garden and the young mother told me they had planted many of the same herbs at their house. I told her about garlic that will bear in the spring. How scapes will grow out from among the greens with a seed pod on the end and hang in a loop back to the ground. She had seen them at the Farmer's Market. When the greens start to turn brown, you can carefully dig up the heads of garlic, I explained, spouting my recent internet research.

The girls examined the blueberries, not yet ready to pick. They wrinkled their noses when I said the bushes in between were cranberries. A fire crackled amid big logs in the fire pit nearby and they wondered if they could make s'mores. I have two of the three required items, I told them. But no chocolate. Though we could roast marshmallows. The grandmother said no, they hadn't come to eat, she said.

Then the eight year old called from the plum tree. We went to inspect the little green fruits with her, still a month to go before they are ripe. I told them about the rhubarb patch at the far corner of the yard and how I planted it in the sun and in the previous owner's garden plot but it did not fare well. That the smaller patch at the corner of the house (which was notably planted where I used to keep the kitchen compost) produced much more. We saw the bed full of gladiolas sprouting up that will flower in late summer and fall. Oddly among them are three or four shoots of fledgling asparagus. I had transplanted the roots from another garden a summer or two past when I found them unrevived while digging. Hmph I thought, yet didn't toss them out. This little four-foot circle bed was largely unassigned at the time. I threw them in there and this year they surprised me and grew - one into a crazy, five-foot spindly shoot, the others in foot-high clumps of four or five toothpick thin stems.

We stood then in the back yard: my friend Tom who staged the house for me so beautifully and kept the outdoor fire crackling while we meandered the yard (after a day of garage sale duty), the family's young advisor peering up at the terribly damaged shingles needing replacement, the in-law mother and dad who seemed much more pleased with the house today than yesterday, and the starry-eyed, young, home-seeking couple. And two girls, eight and six, very observant and lively and well-behaved and taken with everything.

As the conversation lulled, the eight year old wrapped herself around her mother's legs, looked up at her, and said, "I want this to be our forever home!"

I was stunned. Wow.

Her mom explained the family had been talking about the idea of a "forever home" - meaning a place they meant to stay, not to move again soon - and how the eight year old had wanted A Plum Tree at her forever home, and berries, and rhubarb. Oh, and asparagus. I looked wide-eyed at the group. I was the only one reacting. Everyone else had already seen the correlations.  Nevermind how the mother was delighted by a big kitchen and a dishwasher and pocket doors and an open floor plan good for kids running in circles and an extremely long bathroom counter to easily accommodate the whole family brushing teeth elbow to elbow and then some. But my home has the little girls' whole wish list. And more! Why there was a "secret door" uncovered when I insulated the basement walls which led out of the house into the garden shed, and there is a robin nest with three blue eggs on the cross beam under the deck, and a strawberry bed out front, and a million stairs to the front door for children to color with chalk.

"It was hidden?" The young father asked about the door uncovered in the basement.

Yes! I said. It was a short 3/4 door sealed shut and covered by paneling, and I had them open it up and cut the concrete to install a door as large as the foundation would allow - still shy of standard.

"So hobbits lived here then?" he mused.

The eight year old explored the odd little shed built against the house and under the deck with delight at the idea of hobbits.

We said goodbye and they made their way down the long driveway of what (I believe) we all believe will become their "forever" home.

I suspect a call may come in the next few days with an offer and I can see the horizon of being able to return to Fabio in Belize. But I realize that even if they Don't call to offer - due to some advice from the advisor, or a parent balking at money, or a sudden move to Maine or fear of hobbits - one family dearly loved my house and it lifted my spirits, which had sunk low. I wondered why no call had come from the expensive ad I placed in the paper. I wondered if the market was still too bad to sell. I wondered if maybe no one wants houses built in 1960 with just one bathroom not three. And I wondered where the money is going to come from to replace the roof before winter... God bolstered my courage.

This week when I wrote Fabio an email about waking up after stressful dreams and feeling discombobulated and afraid, he didn't tell me "don't let it bother you" or try to convince me of positives, he told me to trust God.

"Just rest in Jesus' arms, He will tell you exactly how to handle things," he wrote.

How beautiful. Che bello. That's how you don't just sell a house - make it happen, and hope you get your money out. But how you bless a family with just the house they were looking for down to pocket doors and expansive counter space and blackberries others might dig out as weeds and asparagus dormant but sprouts the summer a little girl is coming to see it, and for secret closets... for so many things we can't humanly match, yet God delights to do. He delights to answer the heart yearnings of little eight year olds and young 30 year olds and 50 and 60 and 90-year olds. In the God scenario, still the house is sold and if you get your money out, or more, it's His blessing (and if you don't...it's still all good. For other reasons. That's another post...) But in the God scenario, there is so much more because you trusted and rested and believed. And God has such latitude to work in our lives when we trust and rest and believe.

When Jesus asked his motley crew of followers if they wanted to leave Him as the masses were doing, Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed...” John 6.68-69

I am pondering tonight the amazing intricacy of how God works in our lives and weaves our paths together with significance and blessing and love when we believe and trust. How He loves to please us, how He delights in our gratitude, how He reveals Himself to humanity in the smallest details and blessings in life. And how the best conduit for that revealing is a life resting in Him. Who could have imagined a tree that no one even remembered, that seemed to be half dead, could be revived and bear fruit and be the very dream a little girl was hoping for? I just think that's beautiful. And I think of all of the ways we are like a plum tree...seemingly forgotten, half dead. God cuts out the dead wood year after year (it may feel like merciless pruning) and we revive and we bless. And our existence matters.

In awe...whether the call should come or not.

Susan

The Rootball of Fear

(Another post in a retrospective series - writings found languishing in the drafts folder) 

6 May 2017

Summer 2016

So. Fear. It's like the ragged bush in the backyard. I cut most of it out last fall. I snipped the new shoots as they came up from the ground this spring. But the root ball, let's just say, is here to stay. Apart from digging up the 100-year-old, different variety of tree, next to it. There's no eradicating the source. Only managing it.

Maybe that's not a good analogy because God OFTEN eradicates the rootball of fear in someone's life.

Let's just say that in my life, fear keeps growing back.

I got rid of it at first on a bed in a cabin in the jungle of Belize. Where I lay most hours of the day praying and writing in my journal and Giving Life and Its Impossibilities Over to God. Indeed. I didn't know I was getting rid of fear to face cancer, but I was. Because I was drawing close to my Creator and the closer you get to Him the less fear there is.

I have a lot of pending death around me now. I won't expound on that. I will just say that it seems like in every arena of life right now, someone might die. Including me. Yes, I'm 5 years this side of cancer - which is called "cancer free" by the record-keepers. But is it really gone? I never wondered at all until now. AFTER the 5 year mark. What is that?

My pups are 13 now. They are elderly dogs with gray faces and sore hips and slow movements. Eli has lost a lot of his hearing, so he doesn't even know when you're in the room unless he feels the vibration of you walking. (If I talk in a high voice, he can hear, but not a normal voice.) I have been realizing that one day soon I will lose one of them, or both of them. It brings a sort of panic to my heart. Everyone dies, that's just life. But they are woven into me. They sniffed out cancer on my leg. They went to Belize with me. They almost died in Belize for me. Eli from being put into a dog fighting ring; Guthrie from his pancreas shutting down. They survived. Now they are old. Some dogs live to be 20, I keep telling myself. Then everyone they meet has a look of awe that they are 13. Most everyone I know who had dogs when I got Elias and the Gute has lost their dogs by now.

They are close to me at all times in ways they never were. Eli was always the one to be in my way under my desk. Now that spot is Guthrie. Eli was always the one to guard me and Guthrie might be nonplussed in the other room. Now Guthrie is beside me and Eli lays in the living room near the air conditioning. They used to run like the wind, like prisoners set free, at the least opportunity to escape my grasp. Now if they get away, and they hear me coming, they run to me like best friends.

There was the rub. Guthrie slipped out of the house when I came home. I was carrying chips and didn't want to Crush them, so I grabbed only Eli and missed Guthrie's collar with my chip-holding hand, single finger extended in a hook to snag the Gute. Ah well, I thought. Don't crush the chips. Put Eli back inside and Guthrie will be in the back yard. He wasn't. If ever he gets loose, the Gute runs away from people and toward creature life. Therefore, away from streets and toward yards and woods and the like. I couldn't find him so I considered checking across the extremely busy four-lane street. I took Elias, so it would seem to Guthrie like we were on a walk and he Belonged with us. It worked too well. I called out to him and he appeared, but I had crossed the street. He came running down the sidewalk with JOY that we were all out on an adventure like this. JOY. I looked left and right. Six cars in two lanes coming from the west. Eight cars in two lanes coming from the east, with more coming over the hill. I couldn't run to him between the cars, and he didn't know not to run to me. I watched him with no strength at all. My subconscious mind thought this was why I kept wondering if they would die. Today was it. Gute could never cross this street alive and I could not stop him. He lunged away from a pickup that roared passed him. Maybe that would scare him away from the road. No. He ventured to cross. A good, good samaritan in a little sedan saw the problem. She braked and honked and honked for the oncoming cars to see him. Gute crossed in front of her and across the yellow line as two cars, side by side came into my field of vision toward him. To say I ducked my head and screamed a blood curdling scream does not describe what happened. Then silence. They...stopped. Maybe they had heard the honking, maybe my scream startled them. Guthrie passed through the traffic like the sea had been parted, and like he was such a Good Dog for finding me through the fray. Traffic carried on. I don't know - I didn't see - who stopped and spared the life of Gute. I fell on my knees and put my face in his fur and I cried from what didn't happen.

It was oddly like when my own life didn't end. When I kept living and living longer when the prognosis from medical doctors was "You Will Die" if you don't do surgery, if you do this unsanctioned natural cancer treatment. I didn't stop living at all. In fact, I realized it was Bonus Life. I completed the first life given to me. This was new time. Bonus round.

I gazed upon the beauty of the Gute and thought: God has purpose left for you, too, small hound. If it were your time to go, you would have been gone, pup. Under the tires of car upon car. But he parted the cars for you like he parted the river for Moses.

Why, I wonder? What is left for the Gute to do on this earth.

I'm not afraid the Gute will die. Because he didn't die. God is still sovereign over creatures, over us. When we DO die, it is not a tragedy, it is a progression. A moving on. A completion, no matter how incomplete it feels for those grieving left behind. God reminded me that he holds life and death in his hands. When Guthrie or Eli do die, it will be because God said it was time. Their time was complete. Same for me. Same for you.

No fear.

Fast forward one year.  May 2017. That bonus life has taken a twist. First of all, when you don't die, you feel veritably invincible. Like you had something to do with it. Like nothing else can take you down. Oh, until the next thing.

Epilogue
6/14/22 - I don’t remember tonight which “next thing” happened in May 2017 that I didn’t finish writing about. To cause me to say that bonus life had taken a twist. And I can’t possibly enumerate the twists since then. Elias and the Gute are several years with their Maker now, running like they’ve been set free, among the pups of heaven. I drive a post office mail truck one day a week for my own entertainment (and to deliver parcels for the USPS) and often find myself singing little ditties in the truck. And one day one of the songs I used to sing to Eli and Guthrie burst out of me with glee. And I had a picture in my mind, of two hounds in the heavenly places, who stopped in their tracks, ears perked, eyes intent, watching for me to appear on the horizon. 

Not yet boys, I thought,  though in their sense of time, just the blink of an eye. In my sense of time, a bit longer.







Missing the Boys Next Door

(One post in a retrospective series - writings found languishing in the drafts folder)

12 June 2014

Today I missed the boys who used to live next door. Two teenagers with their parents. They were immensely helpful when I needed something like my Lawnmower Put Into the Trunk (where it barely fits), or something gnarly cut down, or a strange-sized object carried into the house.

When I first moved in, and they were young lads, one of them told me they watched me through the window laughing as I was figuring out (all day) how to make my raised garden beds with 2x8s and a saw and a drill and a screwdriver AND a level.

I wanted each bed utterly level, and then level with each other, so I built up the ground in one area to make it so. And I took all day.

"You laughed at me?" I said, "Instead of coming out to help me?!"

I didn't really care because I loved my little project, no matter how inept I looked at doing it, but Jake took it to heart.

The next week he came by and Mowed My Lawn For Me. Awww. He didn't want to be pegged a laugher. (His dad did censure him when he thought I wasn't in earshot. "Why are you mowing Her lawn when ours is not mowed?!" But the son got the neighborliness trait from his dad who was just as nice and helpful and one winter pulled the cord on my snow blower 40 times before we remembered there was a toggle to close off the gas, which needed to be toggled ON... And then it started on the first pull, when toggled to ON. If he had been 10 years older I would have worried about bringing on a heart attack from all of that engine cord pulling for naught in below zero Wisconsin. It's one of those terrible situations that we would have laughed at later at a neighborhood picnic if we had remembered to. The first snow of 2008 when Chuck almost laid in the snow and died after 57 pulls on the engine cord of Susan's snowblower while it was still in OFF mode.

So today, as I wrastled a 4'x8' sheet of plywood, mysteriously part of my garage items for the last eight years, onto the driveway and into the mouth of my trunk, I missed the neighbors. (There are other neighbors as helpful and more - I have the best neighborhood on earth - but their yards were strangely still in the 15 minute window of time I had to put said lawnmover into the trunk.) I, with neither laughing nor helpful teenagers looking on (that I know of), rolled the lawn mower UP the dangerously thin makeshift ramp, and witnessed it bow near the point of breaking under the heftiness, and I hooked the front wheels over the edge of the trunk and then slid the whole thing easily in. All without Jake from next door. Jake who is now out of high school and would have proudly lifted the thing single-handedly from the ground in one motion and plopped it into the trunk and never thought twice about his back until he was 53 and feeling that one funny disc.

I remarked to myself, and to the robin in her nest above the garage and under the deck, who did not appreciate my activity beneath her one bit, that it was deceptively easy to get a lawnmower into a trunk when a person has saved a 4x8 sheet of plywood she will "never use" and all of the neighbors are inside having early dinners.